an ode to 2017 // an update

hey, blog.

i know that i completely disappeared from here for a total of 141 days. 

i’m sorry!

honestly, writing posts has gotten super awkward for me. i don’t know why. every time i try to write, i feel like i’m being ridiculously boring and words just don’t come out in a way that sounds alright, if that makes any sense to you.

however, considering the fact that 2018 is around the corner, i thought i’d do something to commemorate the year of 2017.

it’s going to be a little sad, but i do promise to talk about happier stuff though, so stay tuned. 

2017 was the worst year of my life so far. it was seriously bad on every level for me.

things got better for a little while through the last part of treatment and after it ended. i was feeling really great until after thanksgiving, when other things in my life decided to take a turn for the worse.

me right now is the product of this horror story.

however, it’s okay, because in the end, i learned a lot of life lessons and i have a slightly better understanding of what to do in different situations, which is a very good thing!

going through treatment has allowed me to actually be pretty optimistic, which has helped me deal with the more recent stuff. i know that if i was dealing with the type of stuff i’m dealing with now a couple months ago, it would be 1,000 times worse, so i’m grateful.

(for those of you who don’t know what i mean by treatment, i was diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and ptsd and went through something called neurofeedback!)

to move on to the lighter stuff, here are some of my favorite songs right now. on the right side will be the artist name, and on the left side will be the song name.

anywhere // fuvk 

yam yam // no vacation

exhale // treasureseason 

flower boy // lemonade

undo // the 1975

waste // oh wonder

this reminds me, in october i saw oh wonder live! it was seriously amazing. here’s a picture.


i saw them in knoxville, tennessee at the bijou theatre. it’s an absolutely gorgeous venue and if you ever get the chance to go, it’s an amazing place to see a concert. they played some of the songs i didn’t think they were going to play (like waste and shark), so that was a pleasant surprise.

oh! i did color my hair red, and i really like it.

i have written quite a few songs; 6 ones that are actually good out of around 10. the most recent song was one i wrote 2 days ago. i did have a horrible period of writer’s block that lasted from september to november, but i completely eased out of it and have written 3 out of those 6 songs this month.

i have started watching sailor moon as well.

also, guess who is starting violin!! i know i’m getting one for christmas, and i’m starting lessons in january. i’m so excited!

so… that was my post!

i hope you liked it, and hopefully you couldn’t feel my awkwardness radiating through your screen.

i don’t know when i’ll post again, but i’ll see you then.

merry christmas (or hanukkah, or kwanzaa, or whatever it is you celebrate this time of year), happy 2018 and live your wonderful lives to the fullest. things do get better, i promise you.













One thought on “an ode to 2017 // an update

Leave a Note on The Backpack

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s