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6 of the Awesome New Puns You PROBABLY haven’t seen before *Special Edition*

What is a Bee’s favorite dumb quiz website?

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BuzzzzzzzzzFeed!

 

Where do snobby cows go in their free time?

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A MOOOOOOOseum!

 

What is Mario’s favorite food?

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It’s a-me..at of a freshly slaughtered cow!

 

Why did Mark have to pay all of his hard-earned money to the government?

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Because the government was Mark-ist!

 

What does a liberal cat like to eat out of?

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The wallets of hard-working Americans!

Why did the child cross the road?

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Because her parents brought her into the United States illegally and she is paying for their crimes.

 

Thanks for reading!

 

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New Logo!!

The Nerd and His Brother Podcast (with usually riley) has an all new logo!

Nerd and his brother2

Find it..

On iTunes and Apple Podcasts: http://apple.co/2xDvyBI

On SoundCloud: 

 

 

Fav Fiv · Home

Candy!!!!!!!!! Fav Fiv #3

Sometimes I wonder if I subconsciously named this series Fav Fiv As in Fav Five days late.. sorry everyone!

Badaba! Welcome to Fav Fiv, the series where I rank things!

This week as suggested by Riley: Fav Fiv Candy Edition!

So lets start out with parameters. Classic candies only, no fancy chocolates or what have you. So here is my top 5 classic candies.

5. Sour Patch Kids

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Sour Patch Kids are everything I want in a snack. They are flavorful, tasty, sugary, and have a twist that makes it particularly different from everything else. That being said sour candies only go so far and these are no exception.

 

 

 

 

4. Air Head X-Tremes

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Airheads never were that special for me (aside from the fact that at my baseball field they were only 25 cents and I could buy them for cheap regularly) But the X-Tremes were a staple of school carnivals and end of the year treats that I really enjoy. Basically a strip of sweet chewy airheads goodness. Mhmmmmmmmmmmmm…..

 

3. Kit-Kat

We all know Kit-Kat for their iconic jingle..

break me off a piece of thatImage result for break me off a piece of that andy office

office jokes aside Kit Kats are wafer-like, and chocolaty. I will claim right now that Kit-Kat by FAR has the best flavor variety.Image result for all kitkat flavors

my Aunt lives in London and she brings different flavors for Christmas sometimes. Personally I like Dark Chocolate Mint best but I haven’t tried anywhere near all of them so that’s not definite. But regardless of the flavor I really like these.

2. Reese’s

All Reese’s are fine by me. I don’t really care  as long as I get my dose of chocolate and peanut butter. I have tried a fair amount of their many products and I really like all of them.Image result for all reese's products

Note: No clue who this guy or this kid are , they just were in a picture of all Reese’s stuff and at the top of Google Images.

1.Junior Mints

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This might be a controversial decision as favorite candy, but my road to Junior Mints was winding as well. I used to hate them, but gradually I came around to them. I can’t remember the last time I watched a movie without getting Junior Mints, and the reason is they are delicious. They have a bite of mint that is refreshing without being overwhelming, a rich chocolate taste that is always welcome to my taste buds. It was a tie between this one and York Peppermint Patties Image result for york peppermint patties

and I’m still not totally sure. But know these were all in there together.

 

So there is my ranking! Did you agree? Probably not because Snickers and M&Ms are a popular choice that I did not include. Comment your favorites and I will start featuring them in the next Fav Fiv. Also comment what Fav Fiv I should do next. Maybe one not involving food.

So you can listen to our podcast on SoundCloud here

and on Apple Podcasts and iTunes under The Nerd and his Brother. I would really appreciate your feedback for future podcasts and how you want us to move forward.

On that self-promotional note, thank you for reading and as I’m done saying:

break me off a piece of that fancy feast!

 

 

Home · LAY

A hot diggity dog LAY-#23

Hey guys wassup

Today it is time for Life and You, the series where I ask you stuff and I talk about my life.

But you aren’t here to talk about the format, you are here for a healthy does of

Image result for literallyImage result for myImage result for life

The segment desperately in need of some new visuals for ‘my’ and ‘life’.

This week my Tip Lifeweek my Tip Life was delayed for my special announcement (the nerd and his brother returns september 1st on soundcloud and itunes soon also website nerdandbrother.com shameless plug) and then it somehow backlogged on to the original day, while saying sorry its saturday, and 3 days into posts. That’s all fixed but still its crazy.

Other than that school has been fine, I recently forgot about a project until 45 minutes before it was due. The result was amazing *sarcasm* and the grade is pending *not sarcasm*.

Also for labor day I went to the lake in Alabama. I don’t know why I said the lake like people reading this know the lake I’m talking about, but all you need to know is that I visited my grandparents, had a super time waterskiing and eating hotdogs. Seriously, lots of hot dogs.

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I have been writing a Pokemon post for about a month now and I keep delaying it because more stuff happens, but now I can say that Friday will have that post.

 

That concludes literally my life..

 

So I know YesterLAY I asked you for your most inventive ways to eat an oreo but I’m saving that for next LAY ( I have a reason) So today I will just cover another question from riseofthechairs..

riseofthechairs asks 

 you’re running late to class, but wait! there’s a dog across the street. you realize you have to make a difficult decision. what’ll it be? be late or PET DOG

I read your question carefully and the options laid out were be late OR pet dog. Given this set of choices I choose to pet the dog and not be late for class.

If you meant ‘be late and pet the doggo’ or ‘miss the doggo and be late for class’ I have to think about this.

See, if I pet the doggo I could miss class and get punished. But if I decide to pass up the petting, I could miss out on the opportunity to pet a dog. Luckily there is an alternate universe created every time anyone makes a choice so I will go to class and hope that alternate dimension jamie enjoys petting that dog. Also that he learns the meaning of summer.Image result for phineas and ferb movie

yep that is my second phineas and ferb reference in a LAY in a row. Who knows, I might keep the streak going.

So I want to ask you a couple of things.

  1. Continue with your inventive Oreo eating methods
  2. Please tell me other things you want Fav Fiv-ed (ranked list of things)
  3. Please more my and life images for Literally My Life
  4. as always, questions and challenges for me to do in the next LAY.

 

Thanks in advance, and now I shamelessly plug all my other stuff.

Nerd and Brother Podcast!

If you didn’t know me, my brother Eliot, and Riley have a podcast where we play games, do quizzes. Regardless our website has all the info you need including podcasts episodes on SoundCloud and iTunes. So that is here!

 

Okay, so click here for all of my posts on Rileys Backpack.

And here for all the LAYs.

Most recent post is here.
So again thanks for reading and not unlike what I whooped with joy when I finally started skiing:

please stop it with the snapchat hotdog already. no joke here. just stop.

Image result for snapchat hotdog meme stay away from family

okay i couldn’t help myself.

Home

rileysbackpack.com

We met our gofundme goal! Thank you to all who have donated to help us keep our regular old domain and ad-free site. I’m pretty sure Riley will also have a post but I just wanted to update and say thanks! Plus the new

Image result for the nerd and his brother

 

is our now on nerdandbrother.com, plus our podcast will be on SoundCloud later in the day and iTunes soon.

 

So as I said when I learned I don’t have school today:

I really appreciate the fact that one of my favorite Labor Day pastime (watching baseball) is only possible by people working all day.

 

Home

This week…..

This week I have been starting baseball, recording/editing podcasts, straightening out school, and doing piano. As a result my posting schedule will resume regularly next week with a Pokemon post on Monday.

I’m sorry if you were excited for a week of James Blonde but next week everything will be back to normal.

So until then, bye!

Home · TIP Life

A short weekend.. TIP Life #4

Yeah yeah it’s Monday.. deal with it.

But here is a special announcement that may make it worth it.

Yes I used the powers of a bad iMovie to announce that the Nerd and His Brother will come out bi-weekly on Fridays, starting September 1st. Check out all of our other podcasts at nerdandbrother.com in the meantime. Back to the post.

Hello, and welcome to tip life. The series chronicling my adventures at Duke Tip summer studies this summer.

Previously on TIP Life..

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Jamie had class, learned about detective fiction, and the seeds for camp memes were planted in the ground. Now we find him waking up on Saturday morning..

I woke up on Saturday on time because we have a half day of class Saturday. To be honest I don’t remember much of that day of class but I’m pretty sure we watched CSI:LA. After lunch we went back to the dorms and hung out until…. *audible gasp* time for dinner. After dinner came….

The dance.

So many expectations… and all were disappointing. The first dance was in a convention hall on college campus with bad songs, no refreshments, and a NO PHONE policy. So yeah.

They played some decent songs at the end (namely American Pie) but other than that I just sat around for 2 hours.

Later we got to hang out for a pretty long time and play more Nintendo Switch, so the day left on a high note!

I fell asleep thinking about my victory over the haters with my sick dance moves….

But the REAL battle finally began on Sunday when we had TIP Sync, a Lip Sync completion. Our group was a cringe compilation of bad choreography and Hooked on A Feelin’. We all were kinda nervous for it but in the end nobody remembered our group’s because everyone else was really good.

I did make more friends as time progressed so there is a positive! Also on the weekends the dining hall had better food.

That concluded this short weekend TIP Life, but week two gets really good! So I’ll see you next Thursday for a mystery of a TIP Life.

So similarly to when I tripped and was late to breakfast:

For the record I vouched for us to Lip Sync Never Gonna Give You Up

Fav Fiv · Home

Fast Food-Fav Fiv #2

Note:Special Announcement is Moved to Friday once and for all…. I promise. Stay tuned!

Its Wednesday my dudes. And you know what that means! Fav Fiv(or some number that is not Fiv).

Today I will resent my Favorite Five Fast Food (also alliteration is awesome ain’t it).

5. McDonald’s

Image result for mcdonaldsMcDonald’s is a classic, but as the MKTO song demonstrated, classic can be bad. Breakfast is their strong suit, and moving to all day breakfast is a move I approve of. But everything else, not good enough. Aside from desserts. Still, you would think their burgers would be decent by now. Nope! A solid meh.

 

4. Taco Bell

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Taco Bell is a restaurant which I ate a lot of when I played baseball out of town. I mean, A LOT. Basically every baseball game was preceded by a hard shell taco with pintos and cheese. Recently I’ve been more of a soft shell guy though, but I digress. Their food is healthier than most other fast food and actually tastes good. But why do you guys keep making up foods and adding ‘-rito’? I don’t think it helps, but whatever.

 

3. Subway

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Subway took a hit for me after being trashed-talked by the odd1sout a couple of times. While I really like his content and those videos are great, I still love Subway. The sandwiches taste good, they aren’t too expensive, and most importantly they are calorie heavy. My #1 cheat day food (and by cheat day I mean everyday).

Question for you reading this though:

 Is Jersey Mikes fast food.?Because if it is it would replace subway in a heartbeat.

2. Sonic

Image result for sonicSonic was a toss up in my mind, because I really love the experience of ordering at and eating at Sonic. Also they serve one of my favorite foods (hot dogs) which is something not a lot of fast food vendors are doing. Also A+  shakes and Slushies. But it still loses out to number one.

1. Wendy’s 

 

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I recently have had a couple of Wendy’s meals and they are probably the best fast food chain burgers I have ever had. They have real burgers! Also nuggets and salads play a wonderful supporting role. And who can turn down a Frostie with Fries. But other than food, the drinks are great. The Wendy’s I have been to most frequently has a Coca-Cola freestyle machine, which is basically an endless fountain of wonder. So Wendy’s ranks highest!

 

Image result for coca cola freestyle

By the way, this is the stuff dreams are made of. So many different choices!

Do you agree with my ranking? Of course you do because it’s amazing. Dissenting opinions will be tolerated though, so leave them in the comments below.

Also, what should I Fav Fiv next? Again, comment! Here is the last Fav Fiv, and here’s to the next one.

Bye, and as I once said while watching a Sonic commercial:

Add some Sprite Cherry, Diet Coke Lime, Fanta Zero Peach, Diet Pineapple Ginger Ale, and you’ve got yourself the James Blonde Pukebuster Special!

 

 

 

 

 

Home · LAY

Death LAY-#22

Sup dudes. Lets catch a wave straight into this tubular post bro.

10/10 Would Intro Again

Image result for welcome giants phineas and ferb

and welcome to Life and You.

If you are new here basically I talk about my life and interesting things, then I take comments and questions from you. Plus I ask you questions every post.

Since that seques into questions I’m just gonna THROW OUT THE RULE BOOK and do those first.

Last week I asked (in poll form) what length of post you read.

8 people say that they read all posts, and that just warms my heart. 1 person reads shorter posts, which I understand. If you haven’t lost interest in this post yet, I would wait for Thursdays post :).

And I was going to say something to the one person that just scrolls down and likes the posts but they obviously aren’t reading this soooooo……………………………………

riseofthechairs asks:

there’s a black notebook ominously titled “DEATH NOTE” in front of you someone seemed to have dropped. you look around, but no one else is there. do you leave it there, or do you take it home and become the N E W G O D O F T H I S W O R L D ?

Now I was tempted to pick up this book and create a world free of crime where solely I decide who lives or dies, but that got me thinking.

  1. Who dropped the book?

I am definitely not taking the chance that a Shinigami with an apple addiction dropped it. What if they follow me without anyone else seeing for their entertainment. Because what if we talked? Became friends? They would watch my decent into madness with glee. No, not madness. Enlightenment.

2. What would the book do?

From the title it seems like you would write down the names of people and then they would have 40 seconds before they died. Maybe if you didn’t specify they would have a heart attack. But what if you did specify and you put shark attack. Would a shark just randomly attack them? I guess I just have the write reasonable deaths in there. But then also what if there were multiple people with the same name? I guess the book would have to sense the face along with the name that you are thinking of murdering. But what if my killings attracted the attention of a world renowned detective that somehow had a person pretend to be him and then I write down that persons ‘name’ killing him and confirming that I am the killer? I guess I would need a pseudonym. Maybe Kari.

This book seems pretty dangerous, so I would NOT pick it up.

hehehe jk, I know this is a reference to everyone’s favorite anime attack on titan.

Thank you so much for your question, and if anyone else has a question just comment it.

Okay now life.

Literally my life 

My LML intro uses a less is more approach.

So life has been good, and school has been a combination of computer errors and lack of teachers so I’m fine with not doing any work. We recorded a NABUR a couple of days ago and on a totally unrelated note special announcement tomorrow!!!!

Thats kinda it…

WAIT WAIT NOO

I have a lot of PokeNews so you will be filled in on that Friday

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So be sure to see last LAY if you haven’t already and my question for you is:

What is the best way to eat an Oreo (get creative).

 

Until then this is Jamie signing off like I always do:

GOtTa GeT mY BoWl

 

 

 

Home · TIP Life

Amateur Detectives and Memes-TIP Life #3

Hey guys. It’s TIP life time!

Waaaaaaay late I know. I explained all my decisions in the last LAY, so check that out here.

But anyways, flashback to last time on TIP.

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Jamie woke up late, but still managed to get to breakfast. He then found his button up, went to class, and had a relatively uneventful evening. We now find him talking about the next day..

I woke up more or less on time Tuesday, and went to class. Most of the first day was meeting my classmates and generally being awkward. However the next 4 days (the week) generally has more material.

So without further ado..

Class in Week One

As remembered by Jamie Watson

First of all my teacher introduced the class and had us swear our allegiance to the detectives code the curly locks of Blueberry Pumpkinpatch (Benedict Cumberbatch). After all of us were sworn in on the sharpened nose of Benadryl Cukecumberman

Image result for sherlock derp face

we were divided up into the great agencies of detective work. The CIA, MI-6, NSA, and of course the U.S Forestry service. And I bet you’ll never guess which one I got.

Image result for us forestry service

We were the laughingstock of the groups just for our name, but I was actual okay with it because my great-grandfather was in the forestry. Shout out to you James Watson the First!

Anyways we played a really fun twist on 2 truths and a lie where you can interrogate the people. So if I said “I met the Rock,” you could ask “Where? How? When?”. This way it adds skill to the game. So after the entire class interrogated one person each group decided which one was the lie. If you were right your agency got a point, if you were wrong they didn’t.

I do not exaggerate when I say that my group was 8 points behind the agency in 3rd place by the end of it all. So now all the other groups have a legitimate way to laugh at us.

So agency points as I remembered:

NSA, CIA,MI-6: WAY AHEAD

Forestry: Last

Yay.

But we learned about so many interesting things this week.

  • Edgar Allan Poe actually wrote the first amateur detective story and is considered the grandfather of amateur detective fiction
  • We examined different portrayals of Sherlock Holmes
  • We watched the Clue movie and examined that
  • We learned about New Historicism

The list goes on and on, but if you want to know more about anything just comment and I’ll answer.

The main project for this week was putting on our own play. We all worked together to write a murder mystery with audience interaction and a loose plot. I played Brad Whitford, the a friend of Sherlock Holmes that imposed on Watson’s position of best friend. Naturally Watson had to murder me after she murdered some other person for no reason. She then tried to murder ANOTHER of Sherlock’s friends but then she was stopped. I was being helpful and manning a concession stand at a soccer game when she shoved me in a freezer and I froze to death in 20 minutes. After that I was discovered by Emo Girl (her name in the script) and unceremoniously dragged out and never referenced again except for the conclusion. Guess I wasn’t actually that good a friend of Sherlock. However the line, “Why was he taking a nap in the freezer?’ became a meme for the entirety of camp. It’s even in our Term Book:

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I wasn’t lying

 

And while reading Edgar Allan Poe’s ‘Murders in the Rue Morgue’ aloud one classmate read Orangutan

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But with emphasis on the ‘OTANG’. So she said Orang…….OTANG! And whenever we were reading and that word came up we would always say Orang…….OTANG. Ah, it was great.

But the true meme for our class is one blissfully useful word: ameliorate. A word that every student in my class knew backwards, forwards, and on their knuckles since the first week.

Allow me to explain. You see our Instructor Trent used a wonderful vocabulary that borrowed works from various generations and talked in a manner not unlike I imagine Plato did.

But one word he said a couple of times was ameliorate, and our class clung to it like and Orang….OTANG clings to a branch.

So yeah, amelioration was in the air that first week.

And next TIP Life I will have some amelioration photos for you all to see.

Outside of class, I made more friends in my RC group and we tried to do a movie night. However they couldn’t figure the sound system out so we just listened to the ‘acoustic edition’ of Big Hero 6.

That is all I remember for now, but next week on TIP Life we explore the weekend including a Lip-Sync battle, a prolonged dance, and a messy room.

Until then I just wanted to say:

TIP of the hat to you if you read this post!